My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
