party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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