Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
