I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
bring money and cleavage
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
