That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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