So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
