Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
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smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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