This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
soo... how was my night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
