but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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