am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
