Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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