ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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