I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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