You work out of a Hotel?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
