eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
