$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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