Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
