so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
