If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
