yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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