Sry I called you an 8
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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