He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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