accomplished twins. life is a go
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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