Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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