"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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