this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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