so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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