I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
