evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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