Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
