10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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