Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
