He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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