Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
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