I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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