He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
