I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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