too bad you live with your parents still
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
