What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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