: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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