I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
