He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My friends, they love my intelligence
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
