you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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