I got her a Nickelback box set.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
