i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This house was built for laser tag.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
