I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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