He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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