ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
