1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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