I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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