the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
