So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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