were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize