we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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