one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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