I heard we made out
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He shit in the fireplace
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
