Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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