My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
