i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
