I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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