do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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