are you so shy because you have an std?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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