So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
