I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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