it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My feet surprised me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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