STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
