I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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